Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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