Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
