I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You can't motorboat a personality
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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