I think my vagina is haunted
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
