So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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