In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Randomize