Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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