1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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