nut hugger
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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