please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
