i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
