um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
