I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
