I smell stomach acid.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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