Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
