I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize