how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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