What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
