i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
