Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
