just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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