we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My vagina is very pro this idea
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
