You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
