I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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