hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
