I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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