the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
