how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize