3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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