My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize