Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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