Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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