Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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