just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
