How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She's the barista slut.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
