Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
