His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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