She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
