it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
