Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
