he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
