Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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