Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
