Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize