What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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