I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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