Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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