I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
