is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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