I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
