I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
