We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
