i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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